Friday, July 30, 2010

Sensuality Azure: 20 Questions for Tops & Bottoms

I've spoken of compatibility, in prior posts and in SL. Here is more of what I mean, as a notecard from my Sensuality Azure training materials. A conversation around these questions isn't as exciting as sex. But a conversation is worthwhile for the long-term success of the relationship. Also, in my experience, the kind of person with whom I want to have a long-term relationship values the conversation.

20 Questions for Tops & Bottoms

These questions are in no particular order. But if you think one is more important than another, that itself is important. There are undoubtedly other questions worth discussing, but 20 is such a nice, round number.

There aren't right or wrong answers. But without clear and compatible expectations, any relationship is higher risk.

1. What do you look for in a partner? What's most important? What's not important?

2. Have you played with power exchange before? Collared? Been collared? If yes, how did that work out?

3. When do you play? How often? How long? How regularly?

4. When you play, how much can you focus? Will there be interruptions? Will you suddenly need to leave? Can we schedule times where you can focus completely on us?

5. When you log in and I'm already doing something, do I stop to be with you?

6. How far does the dominance extend? For example, permission to log off? Punishment for not logging on when expected?

7. What are your standards for writing? Pose length? Spelling etc.?

8. How important is staying in-character? Do you like to chat OOC during RP? During sex? Does chatting ruin the mood?

9. How do you feel about voice chat? Out-of-character? During RP? During sex?

10. How important are props, scripts, animations, etc. during RP? During sex? (e.g., Xcite!)

11. Will we stay in a specific sim? A specific setting (e.g., Gor, vampire)? If we travel, how will the our relationship work? (e.g., Am I going to be kneeling in only silks in an Earth art gallery?)

12. Who will pay for things? (e.g., house, clothes, furniture)

13. Will there be other bottoms? Do you expect group sex? Bisexual sex? Homosexual sex?

14. Can I have sex with other people? Can you? Only OOC? If ICly, with any consequences?

15. What are some of your kinks? For example, do you like dirty talk? Force? Do you want to experiment?

16. Are there other relationships we need to discuss? Loyalties to a sim? To other players/friends/lovers? Other possible sources of out-of-character drama?

17. If the bottom is owned, will the Top ever sell the bottom?

18. If this doesn't work, how will it end? If we're in the same sim, will one of us have to leave?

19. How fast do you want to go?

20. Are you looking for a RL romantic relationship? A RL power exchange relationship?

Sharing These Materials

This notecard is part of a collection called "Sensuality Azure by Kandr Newall". This collection is licensed as Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike ( Please don't sell this notecard. Please distribute and modify this notecard freely. Please credit Kandr Newall as the original author.

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